They began their journey with the best intentions. They read all the right books and even attended premarital classes at their church. They felt prepared for the day they would say, “I do.” They covered all the key areas: communication, conflict resolution, finances, and more. They spent so much time preparing for their big day. The issue was they didn’t put as much time into planning the days, weeks, months, and years after.
A few years into their marriage, they came to us struggling and discouraged. When we started talking, we got to the heart of the issue: they got married without a plan for their money. They got married without a clue about their own money story. This lack of planning and awareness almost cost them their marriage. Unfortunately, this couple is not an anomaly. Having worked with hundreds of couples over the last few years, this is more the norm.
A recent Gallup survey found that only 32% of Americans prepare a monthly budget or use some kind of budgeting software. For us at PRW, the percentage of couples that use a budget is in the low 20% range. Here are some key statistics from Experian in 2021 and 2023:
- Average credit card balance in 2023:$6,501
- Average credit utilization rate in 2023:30%
- Average number of credit cards in 2021:3.84
- Percent of accounts 30 to 59 days past due in 2023: 2.01%
Most marriages are challenged and fail due to key financial issues.
We worked together for a few months to help them work through their past history and “trauma” around money and finances. They were able to reframe their past and bring healing and wholeness to their finances. It took a while, but they are now almost completely debt-free and have begun saving and investing, preparing for a fantastic future.
There is so much shame carried by so many around their financial decisions. Many of us are overwhelmed with student loan debt, credit card debt, and a sense that we will not be able to dig our way out. The way they were able to get through this was by bringing the shame to the light of day, embracing radical vulnerability. They worked their way back towards each other by embracing empathy and learning the power of forgiveness. They created a life that is thriving by adopting a renewed mindset based on resilience, humility, and gratitude.
This story can be yours as well! Here are some steps you can take:
Keys to Prepare for Marriage and Life Financially:
- Ask for help: Consider programs like Financial Peace University.
- Seek coaching: Understand your history with money and your personal money story.
- Utilize budgeting software: Keep track of your finances.
- Meet with a Certified Financial Planner: Get professional advice tailored to your situation.
Questions to Ask as You Prepare for a Healthy Financial Future:
- How was money talked about in my home growing up?
- What was my parents’ relationship with money?
- If you are not utilizing a monthly budget, why not? What holds you back from using one?
- How would your life be different if you were able to pay off debt and save $100-$200 monthly?
By addressing these questions and taking proactive steps, you can build a strong financial foundation for your marriage and future.